


Drandle

by PrussiaIsntDead



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Demons, Heaven & Hell, Immortality, Like jesus, Lowercase, Magic, dying, questioning existence itself, ressurection, the bible is my favorite fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrussiaIsntDead/pseuds/PrussiaIsntDead
Summary: Clay Dream goes on an adventure
Kudos: 5





	Drandle

**Author's Note:**

> Context: I make candles and I made a Dream-based one. My boyfriend called it Drandle and I made up a story of how Drandle simultaneously became to be and ceased to exist. It was a fun time and I'm also dedicating this fic (if you can even call it that) to him lmao
> 
> Before anyone comments about it: yes, I know that you put a , instead of a . when there's a tag at the end of dialogue. This fic is meant to have bad grammar/spelling and stuff like taht

Once upon a time, there was a man in a house. His name was Clay. 

“Hm.” he said “today i will go on an adventure.” 

Clay walked outside of his house and walked down the path. Later, he arrived at a swamp.

“I wonder what I will find here :)” he said, god disowning him for saying an emoticon out loud.

Clay continued walking until he found a small structure. It was a witch hut so he went inside.

Inside the small house he saw a witch(?).

“Hello.” said the witch(?) “Please get out of my house it is dirty.” Clay looked around. There were no belongings in the house.

“I will not get out of your house. It is not messy.” Clay said.

“Please” said the witch(?). 

“Okay fine.” Clay gave in and walked to the doorway of the hut.

“Psyche!” he said suddenly and ran back in.

“That was very rude.” the witch(?) stated.

“I’m aware.”

“Bibbity boppity get off my property!” the witch(?) shouted, holding a wand. 

“I don’t feel anything. You are a liar and a fraud.” Clay then turned into a candle.

“I will call you Drandle.” the witch(?) said as he put Drandle on top of a shelf.

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a panda. The panda was sitting on the floor because it was a stupid idoit dummy who didn’t know what a chair was. A demon then appeared in front of it.

“Hello.” said the demon

“Can you go away? I was having a nice day dream.”

“That is quite rude of you.”

“You are quite rude for blocking my view. I wish I could go on an adventure.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” said the demon

“No, no I don’t think I will.” the panda said in retaliation. Suddenly, the panda grew! It was a human now! “This is far less than ideal.”

“That was mean I helped you out and now you call my work less than ideal!” shouted the demon. He was not very happy with the panda.

“Okay. I do not care.” said the panda-turned-human. The demon huffed and disappeared. “I should have a name for myself, I suppose…” the panda said, looking around. “Wait. Trees? Sleeping? I’ve got it! I’ll call myself Napsap!” Napsap later changed his name to Sapnap because he freaking hated how Napsap sounded.

Sapnap grabbed a piece of bamboo and bit into it, destroying his teeth and killing him instantly. He was brought back to the mortal plane of existence because both Satan and God hated him and did not want him.

“I will go on an adventure to a place today.” said Sapnap. And he did. On the way to wherever he was headed, he encountered a pig.

“Hello.” said the pig looking Sapnap in the eyes which was weird since pigs can’t look up.

“What do you want?”

“Do you ever think god regrets creating humans? Do you think he lives in heaven because he, too, fears what he has created?”

“I think I am supposed to be going on an adventure.”

“Alright then. Have a nice day.”

“I hope you die in a hole and when you do i will laugh and feast upon your carcass.” Sapnap said as he walked away. Politeness was just another word for submission.

Sapnap came upon a swamp biome because he liked how weird the water looked. Seriously, why does it look like that? He caught sight of a house and decided to enter. When he looked inside he saw a witch(?) and a candle sitting on a shelf.

“Help me!” said the candle.

“Why is everything that is not supposed to be talking talking today.” 

“Who are you?” asked the witch(?) as he turned around.

“I call myself Sapnap. I was a panda up until 25 minutes ago.” said Sapnap, who was a panda up until 25 minutes ago.

“My name is George.” Said George.

“Wow where are you from? Loserville? Because you’re a loser. What kind of name even is George? Where are you from?

“Britain,”

“What planet is that on?”

“America.” said George.

“Inch resting.” Said sapnap

“Could you do a favor for me?”

“I can crack your skull open.” said Sapnap.

“That’s very nice.” Said George, who did not care. “Can you eat this candle for me?” he asked, bringing Drandle down from the shelf. “If you do I can grant you immortality.”

“Okay.” said sapnap. 

“Wait!” said Drandle. “If you don’t eat me, I’ll give you a dollar and two buttons!”

“Oh, boy!” said Sapnap, who, as a panda, had no grasp on the concept of money. “What a deal! OK!”

“What about your immortality?”

“I’ve already died once, George. Heaven doesn’t want me and hell doesn’t want me. I have no place to go. I am already immortal without the title.” Sapnap said. “Anyway, I’m going home. I’m bored.” He then went home because he was bored, leaving the two gays to themselves.

“What you did was not right, George.” Clay said. He was human again.

“How are you human again?” George said, asking what we’re all thinking.

“I’m just that gay.” Clay sighed. “You were very rude, George. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” said george.

Clay then returned home. He didn’t come back the next day. Or the day after that. That was the last George had seen of either of the two. Clay never gave sapnap the panda his one dollar and two buttons, either. He was a liar and a fool.

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a crack fic why is it 900 words


End file.
